{Scene: A huge junkyard filled
with a bunch of old cars. Two hippies are sitting in front of a junked van listening to a junky radio... wait...
the van is theirs! Ooops! The way that engine sounds, I thought a toilet was backing up somewhere!}
Hippie 1: Hey, man, what's that you're listening to?
Hippie 2: Anarchy Rock!
Hippie 1: Anarchy Rock? Well, turn it up, DUDE!
{Hippie 2 then turns up the radio and
suddenly the ground begins to shake beneath them. The van suddenly just falls to pieces! The radio then falls to
pieces, but the music is clearer now! A HUGE crowd of people comes to the junkyard and some guy with a goatie and
moustache yells out "AAAANAAAAARCHYYYYYYY!" The crowd then begins to pummel the hippies to death, with
"Anarchy Rock" blairing in the background. The hippies are now a bloody pulp and the crowd leaves as
quick as they came.}
Hippie 1: {Speaking with his last breath} Awesome, man....
{The screen now changes to a blue screen
with information and an 800 number at the bottom}
Announcer: Get your copy of "Time Life" Anarchy Rock for just $19.95 plus shipping
and handling. Sorry, no C.O.D.'s. Visa and Master Card accepted...
_____________________________________________________________________
Danger Zone!!
Chicago, Illinois
Monday, September 01, 1997
Part Three
_____________________________________________________________________
{Commentary}
Lex Victor: Well,
there it is. As ashamed as I am to admit it, that's our sponsor. Anarchy rock.
Frenchie Parker: It's because of all the Chaos fans, huh.
Lex Victor: Actually,
it's because they are in need of as much advertisement as we are in need of a sponsor. Not a whole lot I can do
about it. Anarchy Rock! Be like Chaos! Listen to their music. Well, they aren't associated with them in any way,
but I think Kain Piller's theme music, "Irresponsible Hate Anthem", is in with the rest of this collection,
so if you want to be like Kain Piller, get yourself a copy of this great copact disc.
Knee Johnson: You
don't seem all that enthusiastic about it, Lex.
Lex Victor: Well,
it just reminds me of Chaos so much. I feel I have sold out.
Knee Johnson: Ya know,
Lex, they have always been your sponsors.
Lex Victor: Yeah.
It's just in a situation like this I would like to find someone else.
Knee Johnson: I just
have one thing ta say to ya, Lex.
Lex Victor: Yeah?
What's that?
Knee Johnson: Anarchy
rules! Learn to live with it! But Chaos sucks! Just thought I would throw that in.
Lex Victor: Alright.
Whatever, Knee. Anyway, the Battle Royal participants are about to be introduced so let's get ready.
::The camera changes to a view of the
ring.::
{Ring}
In the ring, the announcer is staiding
right in the center. He is holding a piece of paper in front of him which is undoubtedlythe announcement he must
make. concerning the match. The crowd is cheering wildly at this moment.
Ring Announcer: The following contest is scheduled for Battle Royal rules. Twelve men will enter this ring in the
beginning. To lose, one must be eliminated. Elimination consists of going over the top rope and both feet touching
the floor. That must happen in consecutive order.
{Commentary}
Knee Johnson: This
is getting good, Lex!
Lex Victor: It hasn't
begun.
Knee Johnson: I mean
it's exciting.
{Ring}
Ring Announcer: The third to last leagal man in the ring will recieve the World Television belt!
Crowd cheers wildly.
Ring Announcer: The second to last leagal man in the ring will recieve the Intercontinental belt!
Crowd cheers even more loudly.
Ring Announcer: And the final legal man left standing in the ring... shall recieve...
{Commentary}
Knee Johnson: The
suspense is killing me!
{Ring}
Ring Announcer: The CyberNetic Wrestling Federation Squared's own.... WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP BELT!
The crowd is now cheering uncontrollably
upon hearing those words. They can hardly wait!
{Commentary}
Knee Johnson: This
is going to be a night to remember, Lex. I think you have done it!
Frenchie Parker: No matter who wins, this is going to be the greatest night ever!
Lex Victor: Well,
we still have to see how this goes. This is really anyone's game.
Knee Johnson: Any
one of these guys can win! That's what makes it so exciting!
{Ring}
Ring Announcer: Introducing first! ::pauses to allow the crowd to cheer, which they do:: Stainding at six feet six inches, weighing two hundred and eighty three pounds...
the Maverick!
The Blackjacks theme song plays as The
Maverick makes his way to the ring. The fans to not react much to him.
Ring Announcer: The next competitor, standing at six feet two inches.
Weighing three-hundred and fifty-two pounds... BigFig!
"Momma Said Knock you Out"
by L.L. Cool J plays as Big Fig makes his way to the ring. The fans cheer quite a bit for him.
Ring Announcer: The next competitor, standing at six feet one inch,
weighing two-hundred thirty-three pounds and former World Television champion... the Backbreaker!
The lights go black and riots, wars,
and all of that show on the big screen. The crowd is roaring and fireworks are going everywhere. His music begins
and Backbreaker makes his way to the ring.
Ring Announcer: The next competitor, standing at six feet eight inches,
weighing three-hundred thirty pounds... Assassin!
Assassin comes out by himself in silence
with no music playing. He walks down the asle with only the roar of the crowd with his long black cape whipping
around.
Ring Announcer: And the next competitor, Standing at five feet ten
inches, weighing two-hundred twenty pounds... Tunzafun!
Tunzafun enters with no music playing.
He seems very focused today and not very happy as he normally is. He makes his way to the ring.
Ring Announcer: And the next competitor, standing at seven feet two
inches. Weighing three-hundred forty-one pounds... TeRrOr!
He walks into the arena very focused.
The crowd boos him as they see him. He quietly makes his way to the ring.
Ring Announcer: And the next competitor, standing at six feet six
inches. Weighing two-hundred fifty pounds... the Red Slayer!
"I'm Too Sexy" plays as the
Red Slayer makes his way to the ring. The fans boo while he goes to the ring.
Ring Announcer: And the next competitor, standing at six feet ten
inches. Weighing three-hundred twenty-two pounds... Dominator of Destruction!
The fans just boo him loudly as he walks
out. He makes his way to the ring.
{Commentary}
Knee Johnson: That
ring is looking pretty full, huh Lex?
Lex Victor: Well,
that's only eight people. Four more are going to be added.
Frenchie Parker: Oh good! It's about to begin!
{Ring}
Ring Announcer: And the next competitor, standing at six feet two
inches, weighing two-hundred thirty-four pounds... "Hip Hop" Paul Pickney!
He slowly walks to the ring. He seems
to be getting an equal amount of cheers and boos. He looks as cocky as ever. He also seems ready for the match.
Ring Announcer: And the next competitor, standing at six feet-seven
inches. Weighing two-hundred eighty-five pounds... Da SuPerFan!
"Notorious Thugs" plays as
Da SuPerFan makes his way to the ring. The fans are divided with booing and cheering while he goes. Seems there
are a lot more boos, though.
Ring Announcer: And the next competitor, Standing at six feet four
inches, weighing two-hundred eighty-eight pounds and former heavyweight champion of the World... the Evil Lord Pelius!
The first notes of the "Imperial
Death March" play into the arena, oddly blending into a vaguely familiar operatic chorus. Suddenly, and very
loudly, "Symphony of Destruction" blasts out of the PA system, showering the crowd with its heavy metal
chords. Then, striding with a chillingly evil grin, the red-cloaked massivity of the Evil Lord Pelius, the Red
Knight of the CNWF appears, eyes glowing red with power, heavy black boots clicking upon the concrete floor of
the aisle. Reaching the squared circle, he grabs the top rope and uses it to flip into the ring, landing squarely
upon his feet in a fully upright stance.
Ring Announcer: And the final competitor... ::pausing for effect:: The tallest man in CNWF history! Standing at a height of seven feet ten inches!
The crowd immediately eripts in a loud,
but divided amount of cheers and boos.
Ring Announcer: Weighing four-hundred and forty-five pounds... the
leader of Chaos! KAIN PILLER!
The crowd continues to cheer and boo
as the arena goes dark and "Irresponsible Hate Anthem" by Marilyn Manson begins to play. A red skull
now appears to be floating above the ring. The skull slowly turns around in a circle and eventually transforms
into the head of Kain Piller. The head rises and shrinks until it is just barely larger than a normal human head
and floating about ten feet above the ring. Slowly the body to match the head appears and begins to turn around.
Irresponsible Hate Anthem starts to play louder as the intro to the song ends and the guitars and drums blast in.
As that happens, the holographic image dissapears, red and black fireworks explode accross the arena, and there
stands Kain Piller, live and in the flesh at the entranceway. Wearing his trademark trenchcoat, which is surprisingly
three or four sizes too large even for this seven foot ten, four-hundred and forty-five monster of a man. He walks
to the ring, climbs up on the apron, and steps over the top rope with ease, then stands in the corner of the ring
waiting for the match to begin.
{Commentary}
Knee Johnson: What
an intro! Man!
Frenchie Parker: Those Chaos guys sure know how to put on a show!
Lex Victor: Well,
those projectors they use to make that skull and those holographic effects are expensive. They paid for it, but
I think CNWF² is finally getting enough money in it's pockets to get those kinds of things.
Knee Johnson: Don't
sweat it Lex. After tonight, you are gonna be a millionaire!
Lex Victor: We'll
have to see about that, Knee. I mean if we can get out of this rut we are in tonight, I see great things for the
CNWF².
Knee Johnson: This
is getting too exciting as I think about just what can happen in this match! This is great!
Lex Victor: Speaking
of the match, it looks like it is about to begin.
::The camera changes to a view of the
ring.::
___________________________
12 Man Battle Royal
Kain Piller, The Evil Lord Pelius,
"Hip Hop" Paul Pickney, Da SuPerFan, Dominator of Destruction, TeRrOr, The Red Slayer, Tunzafun, Assassin,
The Backbreaker, BigFig, The
Maverick
(over the top rope and both feet
hit the ground for eliminations..
Third to last legal man in the ring
gets Television belt.
Second to last legal man in the
ring gets Intercontinental belt.
Last legal man in the ring gets
World belt)
___________________________
{Match}
As soon as the bell rings, it is total
chaos within. Everyone seems to be beating up on everyone and it is pretty hard to tell some people apart. After
concentrating closely, one can see Kain Piller has just knocked Pickney to the ground along with Da SuPerFan. It
appears the two may have been attempting a double-team effort on Kain Piller. Backbreaker and the Maverick are
going at it as well. There is just so much going on in the ring at this time it is very hard to tell what is happening
to who.
{Commentary}
Lex Victor: Well,
this match has already gotten to a quick start it looks like. It doesn't seem like anyone is going over just yet.
Knee Johnson: That's
for sure Lex! These guys are fighting tooth and nail to stay in! Oh wow! Did you see that shot that Assassin just
gave to Kain Piller! I don't think he was ready for that!
Lex Victor: He
looks like he might have staggered Kain Piller... oh wow! A bulldog from the Evil Lord Pelius and that's it for
Piller standing up. Assassin and Pelius are now kicking away at the fallen Piller! Nope.. not anymore. I think
Da SuPerFan now has his attention after that elbow to the back of the head.
Frenchie Parker: This
is already turning out to be one heck of a match!
{Match}
There is still a lot of chaos in the
ring no one has been thrown out yet. It can be seen that Dominator really doesn't have any friends in the ring,
but the large man is making a great accounting for himself. However, when Tunzafun risks a moonsault from the top
rope and actually hits with it, Dominator goes down.
{Commentary}
Knee Johnson: That
Dominator guy doesn't really look like he stands a chance in there with some of those other greats in there.
Lex Victor: I
don't know, Knee. That guy really has the will to win.
Frenchie Parker: You
know, Tunzafun is doing a lot also. It looks like he is ready to show TeRrOr and the Red Slayer a thing or two!
Lex Victor: I
think he is getting in over his head, but we'll see.
{Match}
Tunzafun is now in the middle of Red
Slayer and TeRrOr. They both decide to lunge at him, but he moves out of the way and TeRrOr and Red Slayer run
into eachother. However, Tunzafun runs right into Kain Piller's leg. Piller looks way down at Tunzafun who is on
his knees looking up at Piller. The interesting thing is he does not attack him. The fighting resumes.
{Commentary}
Lex Victor: Still
no one has been thrown out of the ring. No one even seems to be trying to throw anyone out of the ring at this
time.
Frenchie Parker: Hey
look! Big Fig is going up behind Kain Piller! I think he is going to try to throw him out of the ring!
Knee Johnson: If
Kain turns around, I think he will be flattened!
Frenchie Parker: You're
right! That's too risky for him to do!
Lex Victor: Well,
he just clotheslined Piller hard in the back. Problem is he is facing the rope and that isn't the way to get a
big man over... oh no... Piller looks pretty damn mad!
Frenchie Parker: That's
right! He looks like he is going to grab for him! Oh no!
Lex Victor: Wait!
Fig just ducked back and threw Maverick toward Piller! Piller now grabs Maverick and throws him over the top rope!
Oh my gosh! Maverick is gone!
Frenchie Parker: That
means only Big Fig, Assassin, Red Slayer, TeRrOr, Backbreaker, Dominator of Destruction, the Evil Lord Pelius,
Kain Piller, Tunzafun, Da SuPerFan and "Hip Hop" Paul Pickney are left!
Lex Victor: I
wouldn't really call that "only", Parker.
Frenchie Parker: Well,
that's all that's left.
{Match}
Kain Piller now seems to be trying to
find his way back to Big Fig, but he is met by Da SuPerFan. Piller and Fan begin to brawl for a bit, but Pillar
easily knocks him down to the ground. Piller is now making his way once again to Big Fig, but instead he feels
himself wrenched off the ground with ease by unbelievable strength. It turns out he was just belly to back suplexed
by Assassin!
{Commentary}
Lex Victor: That
Assassin is definitely not someone to push around! He is one strong opponent at a muscular three-hundred and thirty
pounds and a good six foot eight.
Knee Johnson: I'd
say! He just ripped that... that giant of a man, Kain Piller off his feet like a rag doll!
Frenchie Parker: Don't
speak so soon, guys, because Piller is back on his feet! Oh, but BigFig is already going to go fight him.
Lex Victor: For
those of you who don't know, Kain Piller had actually saved Big Fig from the PsYcho ConnectioN beating him up.
That was, of course, with the help of the Evil Lord Pelius. That was another night in CNWF history in the old days,
so it is interesting that they are fighting now. I guess it is because Fig is mad at him for turning against the
CNWF², or maybe he thinks Piller had something to do with him getting beat up that night, but who knows.
{Match}
BigFig and Kain Piller just suddenly
go at it. Fig goes in low and takes out Piller's legs with that massive frame. He couldn't keep from falling after
three-hundred and fifty pounds plus hit him square in the shins. Fig then starts brawling with the big man on the
canvas.
{Commentary}
Frenchie Parker: That
is a big mistake by BigFig, guys!
Lex Victor: Well,
he wanted to take this to the ground... but it looks like Kain Piler is taking control again... oh no! He's got
him by the neck! He is now standing back up on his own two feet!
Knee Johnson: This
is totally cool, Lex! He is really going ta get it now! Ha ha! That stupid Big Fig thought he could give it to
a member of the PC!
Lex Victor: Piller
wasn't a member by the time you joined. I would say he pretty much wasn't even a member at all if you want to think
about it that way.
Knee Johnson: Oh
no! Then what am I saying then! Get him Fig! Get him good!
Frenchie Parker: Everyone
is just throwing their friendships out the window! How horrible!
{Match}
Piller decided to chokeslam him hard
on to the mat. He grabbed his back in pain after being hoisted so high into the air only to be slammed hard. He
then picks him back up and throws him out of the ring with ease. Big Fig is now out of the matchup.
{Commentary}
Frenchie Parker: Well,
that's two people Kain Piller has thrown out! Now only Assassin, Red Slayer, TeRrOr, Backbreaker, Dominator of
Destruction, the Evil Lord Pelius, Kain Piller, Tunzafun, Da SuPerFan and "Hip Hop" Paul Pickney are
left!
Lex Victor: You
are good at that! How do you do it?
Frenchie Parker: I
just have a great memory, Lexy. It's my birthright.
Lex Victor: Uh...
yeah. Whatever, Parker. Anyway, we have to go to a commercial break! We will be right back!
Knee Johnson: Hi
mom!
Lex Victor: Huh?
Knee Johnson: Just
thought I would throw that in. This is a great night!
___________________________
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Stay tuned for part four
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